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As a joke, A-Is-For-Aric and I decided to enter the American Idol songwriting competition. This is schmaltz like your Bubbe would spread on her bagel. Try to listen without gagging. Actually, Aric plays the 80’s ballad keyboard masterfully. And the lyrics are particularly bold.

Breaking a Record
By J. Gordon Wright

Face the light
Face their eyes
Ask myself
Is it time

Turn the page
Take the stage
Ask myself
Is it mine

Look without seeing a thing
Hear without listening
To the sound that’s calling me

| Maybe I’m breaking a record tonight
| Breaking through something I’ve held inside
| Maybe this time when they shine the light
| I could be the one
| Maybe this is something I have to try
| Never did I think I would get this high
| Suddenly it’s starting to seem like I just might
| Break a record tonight

Used to think
It’s out of reach
Tell myself
Not to feel

But now I see
This could be me
If I tell myself
That it’s real

So many things I could be
They will come if I believe

] Excuse me if I repeat myself
] I just want to get it right
] Say it till there’s nothing left to hide
] I try to hear what’s etched inside
] I try to hear the track
] It’s time to turn the tables right
] ‘Cause now’s my chance, I’m breaking a record…

Wait… what’s that? Is it…? Could it be…? That’s right, key change! Damn straight.

| Tonight…
| Breaking through something I’ve held inside
| I know this time when they shine the light
| I will be the one
| This is something I knew I had to try
| And I always knew I could get this high
| Suddenly it’s starting to seem like I just might
| Break a record tonight

Listening to it now, I don’t think the schmaltz will hurt our entry. But we went waaaaay over the recommended time limit. Get comfortable:

Hmm… It might be the right length for Celine, maybe I should give her a call…

Performed at Schubas Tavern in Chicago on January 30, 2008. Recorded with drummer Jeff Lien’s little Edirol.

While my family certainly has a deep love of music, there aren’t any career musicians in my direct ancestry. So I’ve always felt somewhat proud about my recording career, however modest.

Alas, turns out I was way behind the curve. My great-great-grandmother, Julia Greer Marechal, is about 300,000 spots higher than me on Amazon’s bestsellers list, with her beyond-the-grave debut, Bullfrog Jumped. Here she is singing one of the singles: